Wednesday, 8 April 2015

#52memories Week 13 - Hope

This week's #52memory is actually a collection of photo's capturing such a lovely day - Easter Sunday.

When you lose someone who you love so much, who was such an integral part of your family and whose loss has changed the identity of your family forever you really do wonder whether you'll ever to be able to find happiness as a family again. Of course not the same happiness you've shared for so many years but a new kind of happiness.

Since losing Mummy some 9 months ago, there have of course been some happy moments but these have felt few and far between and certainly gathering together as a family - me, my sister, our respective husbands and children and dad - these days have felt heavy hearted and incomplete.

But Easter Sunday was different - a good different. My 3rd cousin (I think?!) Catherine with her fiance Daniel - you first met them here - joined us for the day which was lovely and definitely helped add a different dynamic to the day. It was our first chance to congratulate them on their engagement and the day was full of wedding talk. There was the very important matter of an Easter egg hunt for the children and we celebrated my niece's 6th birthday, so there was plenty going on. The sun shone; preparing and cooking lunch was a pleasure not the chore it had become and was truly delicious; the children played happily; we laughed, we chatted with Mummy never far from our thoughts or conversation; when we went to Mummy's grave the daffodils I'd planted last autumn were finally out, she was there in full blooming glory which just made us all smile. For life as it is now, it couldn't have been a more perfect day.

Someone told me that I should look for signs that Mummy is still with me - with us - in some way and that one of these signs might be when something good happens, that this is her gift, her way of still looking after her family and I cannot help but think that Easter Sunday was one of those occasions. It really was one of the happiest days I've known in a long, long time and it gave me real hope that we could once again be happy together in our new form, in a new way. And now we a wedding in the offing, we have a goal, something to aim for together and the promise of more good times. Cape Town here we come!

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