Thursday, 30 April 2015

Praying for Karma

"Life isn't going to let up just yet"... those were the words I uttered to Mr LMLD sometime last autumn and I was right. As if watching someone battle with cancer and then lose their wife so suddenly wasn't enough, watching everything they have worked blood, sweat and tears for over the last 25 years to be so callously decimated on top of everything else that has happened is truly heartbreaking. Oh how I wish this was just a nightmare I could wake from, but it's not. It's very much my reality at the moment and the "someone" in question is of course my Dad.

I can't for obvious reasons go into too much detail as there is still yet so much to be resolved, but suffice to say another crucial part of Dad's life plan has not gone according to the plan and I find myself once more stepping into Mummy's shoes (along with my sister) giving him the much needed moral support, a shoulder to cry on and a great big reassuring hug that says "things will be ok". But will they? You'll forgive me for struggling to find some positive outlook with what life's thrown at us as a family these last few years.

I am immensely proud of my Dad and what he has achieved, building a hugely successful business from scratch. Very much a family business in those early days, Mummy supported him as secretary, receptionist and tea-maker and then when she longer wanted to, I took over and worked along side him for some 15 years. For the most part I thoroughly enjoyed working with Dad in the business, caring for it and treating it (still to this day) very much like my own. Yes, there was the odd occasion when the lines between boss/employee and father/daughter got blurred, but for the most part, I came away from that time with his inspiring sense of entrepreneurialism, a good hard working attitude to life, some fabulous friends and special memories for which I will always be grateful.

So today as the company's office closes, the business loses it's identity as we've known it and we say goodbye to a team who've stuck by him to the bitter (and I mean bitter) end, it's not simply a case of closing the book on that chapter and moving on, there's still so much hanging in the balance and so many emotions to deal with and help my Dad through. Mostly my heart is of full of sadness and anger. Sadness for him that these are the cards life is dealing him in return for all the long, long hours he worked, for the sacrifices he made; that given it's impact, he is now questioning his own judgement in a decision he made; anger for the world in which we live, where unfortunately there are individuals who show no respect or regard for others and their values which have lain at the very core of the heart and soul of everything a person has set out to do. And whilst the best way to deal with a situation like this is to accept that this is what has happened, that what goes around comes around rather than react, only (in my experience) to come off even worse, that's hard... really hard. For my Dad to be able to look back on the last 25 years with the much deserved sense of achievement rather than with regret and that feeling of "what was it all for?"; for us as a family to find peace with life will be no easy feat. In a conversation over lunch the other day, Dad was very quick to remind Mr LMLD of the enormous importance of the work/life balance, words which tell me a lot about how he's feeling at the moment.

It's funny how life comes full circle isn't it.What made me move away from working with my Dad very much echo's what he and Mummy did all those years ago, as I now support my own husband in the running of our business. I did say I was my Mother's Daughter. I just pray for a happy ending.


Eva D said...

So well put honey. I'm sitting at work with tears flowing. Life can seem very cruel and unfair but there is always hope and happiness to be found, even amongst the bad stuff. Look for those spots of hope & happiness and savour them and they'll get you all through xxxx

Like Mother Like Daughter said...

Thanks lovely... you're right it's definitely the little things that get you through. They say things happen in three's, let's hope that rings true here xxx